For the holidays this year, I got to spend time in Dubai with my amazing family. My cousin has two little boys and her oldest is 4 years old. He is an amazing, intelligent, handsome, and a very smart little boy. He recently welcomed a little brother and has been engaging in behaviors that may be attention seeking. In addition, his routine has changed. There are people visiting, his meal times have shifted, all these people are giving him so much attention and even more attention to his brother. It's very hard for a little kid to understand that his little brother is still a baby. Even harder for him to understand that he is not the only little kid in the home anymore. So what are parents to do? My cousin actually designed a motivational system for her son. It has the seven planets on it, and when he displays "good attitude" the planets moved closer to earth. Once it lands on earth, he gets access to his favorite movie "The Avengers!! ".
This is exactly what a child needs.
1) A visual
2) A set contingency: when you display good behavior you get something you like
3) following through.
In this scenario, the three term contingency is very clear: Antecedent ( He sees a toy that he likes) ------> Behavior ( He asks for it appropriately)---------> Consequence ( You displayed awesome attitude, your planet gets moved closer to earth)
On the contrary, if he/she displayed inappropriate behavior, the planet moves down and he loses access to the avengers movie and does not get access to the toy.
Things to remember and consider when using a motivational system especially for a younger child:
1) First things first, understand the function of the behaviors that are being displayed ( please refer to the previous blog for more information on this).
2) Make sure the visual is very clear. It should be kid friendly with very minimal distractors as possible so your child easily sees when he gains or loses something. Visuals are very important.
3) When your child displays inappropriate behavior and he loses a spot on the motivational system, remember the very next time he displays good behavior, move the planet all the way up so he gets reinforcement for the good behavior he did display. This is because you want the motivational system to be meaningful to him and want that motivational system to be more reinforcing than punishing.
4) Always magnify learning and shape good behavior in small steps. So if this is the first time your child is using a motivational system, get him access to the preferred item that same day. You are teaching your child an incentive. Therefore, to teach this and in order for them to make a connection with that motivational system, they have to value it. Eventually, once he/she starts learning the set contingencies, you can start fading when he/she gets access to the preferred choices.
5) It's always great to give your child choices. Give him/her three preferred choices to choose from. Display these choices on the motivational system itself.
6) Follow through and be consistent. This is the most important component of using a motivational system. Remember, if you are inconsistent, it will make the inappropriate behavior even stronger. This is because your child will be confused and is learning that at times he is getting access to things he likes by acting out. When this happens, he/she is going to try everything and anything to get access to the things that they like again. So be consistent. When your child displays inappropriate behavior, give them clear consequences. Black and white. There should never be grey areas.
7) Last but not least. Celebrate success in a big way ! go all out ! make your child the happiest person ever !! :) Here's an example of a visual for a motivational system.
Here's an example of a visual for your child:
As always, please email me if you have any questions :) and wishing everyone a very happy 2013 !!!
